I cannot even begin to tell you how I've grown over the past three months.
And while a lot has happened, I don't feel that I have much to say.
I've discovered the power of forgiving, even when someone isn't asking for forgiveness. Growing up in a Judeo-Christian home, forgiveness has always been a buzz-word of sorts. But, I think I have always misunderstood the purpose of it until recently. I thought that forgiveness was for the trespasser's sake: to set them free and clear their conscience, to restore the relationship.
How wrong I've been! While yes, forgiveness is incredibly helpful to the one being forgiven, the vitality of forgiveness is for the forgiver. To forgive will set you free. Whether the relationship is restored, or whether they even care, it's so important to find peace in forgiveness, for your own sake. Holding grudges is so stressful, painful, and toxic, and it causes more damage to yourself than anyone.
Anyways, I'm now working at Anthropologie (about 40 hours a week). I'm really enjoying it, though the hours are late. Most nights I don't get home until midnight. I feel like I don't do much other than work. I guess I don't.
I'm transferring to the University of Georgia in August. I was also accepted at University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill. I would have loved to attend, but UGA is more economical, and the boyfriend is going there (that explains it, right? haha. The more economical part was a joke, though its true.) I'm going to find an apartment next Monday!
I'm very excited about moving, but a little apprehensive. I've never even been to Athens before. We'll see how it goes.
I will be taking summer classes starting in June, trying to finish up my general ed classes. I'm still an International Affairs major, and I'm thinking of maybe going into law. I would like to get a M.A. in International Law and Human Rights from UPEACE, and attend law school and be an international human rights lawyer. Who knows though. It's just an idea.
I'm going to call it a night.
Hopefully I'll post again soon.
13 May 2008
12 February 2008
Yes, it's been forever.
I obviously haven't written in a while, and I could make a number of excuses, but instead I'll write what I have to say, and I will hope that you enjoy it enough to forget that I have forgotten you.
I am changing a lot, and have changed a lot over the past six weeks or so, probably much like the "aging" scene in "Forever Young." It's quite unnatural.
I just got back from an intense cardio session at the gym. I told myself I wouldn't stop running on the treadmill/stairmaster until I released all of the things that were getting to me and inhibiting me from being productive and having inner- peace. Over an hour (and 400 calories) later, I finally began my cool down. For perspective, if I work out at 85% of my heart rate reserve, I work out for about 20 - 25 minutes. An hour is a long time. Perhaps this wasn't ideal on my heart, but I figured the mental stress would kill me slower and more painfully and dying there on the spot might be better anyways. So I worked some things out, and I feel much better.
I told a friend today, well, I could smoke and drink, or I could work out. So that's most likely the biggest change in my life, I work out 5+ days/week for 1 1/2-2 hours.
Second biggest change, because of my working out, I've gained 8 lbs. in a month.
Also, I am now dancing with the KSU Dance Team. I have missed dancing SO much, and I cannot express how amazing I feel after a hard practice. I'm loving it. We are working on our routine for Nationals in Daytona Beach on April 12th.
The past six weeks have made me face mortality. My roommate, Becca, and I were in a four-wheeling accident, luckily I only had bruising and a concussion. When I went to the ER after the accident, we found out my roommate had a severe Staph infection in her lymph nodes, and the doctors told her if she hadn't come into the ER within 24 hours, she would have died. I've never been so thankful for a concussion, otherwise we wouldn't have gone to the ER. Becca had pretty bad allergic reaction to her antibiotics, so that was pretty scary as well. We both have struggled getting caught up with school as we both missed school for a week. That's been pretty stressful.
Otherwise, school is going well. I'm taking 18 hours, and I'll be ready for a break when this semester is over. I'm looking for any excuse to take a semester off, though I probably won't. If I could work out the money, I'd get on an airplane to Africa tomorrow.
I'm single. That has taken a lot of stress off of me, and added new stress. Haha. I thought it would be simpler, though I'm not completely sure that it is. I am much more in control of my life and the stress, so I am enjoying that and enjoying the freedoms and free-time that I have. A lot.
Free time? Well, not really.
On Monday/Wednesday I leave for class at 9:00 AM and I don't get home until 10:15 PM. It's a long day...
When I am free, I'm picking up the piano and guitar. I'm miss making music, literally.
I'll be out of town at least five of the next eight weekends. I'll be in Memphis the 28th-5th. I'm really looking forward to that. (I'm also going to Nashville for Cooper's basketball tournament, East Tennessee to see the family/go skiing in North Carolina, Memphis, Vale, CO, and Daytona Beach.)
I turn 18 on Saturday!
Life is beautiful, and sometimes pretty ugly. And crazy.
Love,
Caroline
I am changing a lot, and have changed a lot over the past six weeks or so, probably much like the "aging" scene in "Forever Young." It's quite unnatural.
I just got back from an intense cardio session at the gym. I told myself I wouldn't stop running on the treadmill/stairmaster until I released all of the things that were getting to me and inhibiting me from being productive and having inner- peace. Over an hour (and 400 calories) later, I finally began my cool down. For perspective, if I work out at 85% of my heart rate reserve, I work out for about 20 - 25 minutes. An hour is a long time. Perhaps this wasn't ideal on my heart, but I figured the mental stress would kill me slower and more painfully and dying there on the spot might be better anyways. So I worked some things out, and I feel much better.
I told a friend today, well, I could smoke and drink, or I could work out. So that's most likely the biggest change in my life, I work out 5+ days/week for 1 1/2-2 hours.
Second biggest change, because of my working out, I've gained 8 lbs. in a month.
Also, I am now dancing with the KSU Dance Team. I have missed dancing SO much, and I cannot express how amazing I feel after a hard practice. I'm loving it. We are working on our routine for Nationals in Daytona Beach on April 12th.
The past six weeks have made me face mortality. My roommate, Becca, and I were in a four-wheeling accident, luckily I only had bruising and a concussion. When I went to the ER after the accident, we found out my roommate had a severe Staph infection in her lymph nodes, and the doctors told her if she hadn't come into the ER within 24 hours, she would have died. I've never been so thankful for a concussion, otherwise we wouldn't have gone to the ER. Becca had pretty bad allergic reaction to her antibiotics, so that was pretty scary as well. We both have struggled getting caught up with school as we both missed school for a week. That's been pretty stressful.
Otherwise, school is going well. I'm taking 18 hours, and I'll be ready for a break when this semester is over. I'm looking for any excuse to take a semester off, though I probably won't. If I could work out the money, I'd get on an airplane to Africa tomorrow.
I'm single. That has taken a lot of stress off of me, and added new stress. Haha. I thought it would be simpler, though I'm not completely sure that it is. I am much more in control of my life and the stress, so I am enjoying that and enjoying the freedoms and free-time that I have. A lot.
Free time? Well, not really.
On Monday/Wednesday I leave for class at 9:00 AM and I don't get home until 10:15 PM. It's a long day...
When I am free, I'm picking up the piano and guitar. I'm miss making music, literally.
I'll be out of town at least five of the next eight weekends. I'll be in Memphis the 28th-5th. I'm really looking forward to that. (I'm also going to Nashville for Cooper's basketball tournament, East Tennessee to see the family/go skiing in North Carolina, Memphis, Vale, CO, and Daytona Beach.)
I turn 18 on Saturday!
Life is beautiful, and sometimes pretty ugly. And crazy.
Love,
Caroline
04 January 2008
2007
Generally, I try to avoid the overly cliché "New Years" speech about the things that have happened, and the lessons I've learned. But, this year, I might do something different. I just might give in and recount the highlights of my year, in hope that I will find things to be grateful for, and to look at what I've overcome.
In January I moved to Kennesaw after living in East Tennessee for six months. I learned to not freak out when I got lost on the way to the grocery store, and to try to resolve conflicts peacefully with my roommates. I started college...
February, I turned seventeen..and I got a job as a hostess at Shogun.
March 2007 was full of ups and downs. Yari and I threw a surprise 18th birthday party for David. I also rear-ended a truck at 40 mph and totaled my car. Living without a car for two months helped me appreciate my mobility, but it also stressed me out to rely on other people so much. I also had to quit my job.
April was when I had a barrel fall from the ceiling onto my phone in a restaurant. I got my Blackberry pearl, which landed in the toilet a couple weeks later.
May, I finished my first semester of college. 4 A's, 2 B's. 18 hours. I spent 3 weeks with my family in Tennessee. When I arrived, my Saab 9.5 was in the garage.
June & July I took 9 hours (all A's) and spent a weekend at Orange Beach with Madison. I got a good laugh when my Stats prof recommended me to be a math major. This was when I decided to change majors from International Affairs to English. I went to a Braves game and to the Atlanta History Center. I also read all of the Harry Potter books for the first time.
August I spent two weeks with the family and then started school again. Only 12 hours..I needed the break. I moved into the Honors Building and I began my duties as President of the French Club. I made several new nerdy friends, and I became really close with my roommate, Becca.
September I went to Loca Luna a lot. = )
October I was sick the whole month, and had to deal with being treated badly by those who claim to be Christians. I dressed up as a witch for halloween, which was the first time I was "allowed" to celebrate the holiday...haha.
November I planned a French Cocktail party for over 300 people. It was a ton of work and I prepared a lot of the food myself, with the help of my dear friends. I visited Cleveland and went to Brasstown Bald for the first time with Becca. I spent Thanksgiving with my family in Tennessee.
December I surprised myself with a 4.0. & I celebrated...I spent three weeks with the family in Tennessee, went to North Carolina for over a week during Christmas, and visited Madison in Pigeon Forge.
There is so much more that's happened, but its can be summed up by saying its been a year of learning, a pretty tough year emotionally & spiritually, but its January and I've made it through. I'll be back in Kennesaw tomorrow.
In January I moved to Kennesaw after living in East Tennessee for six months. I learned to not freak out when I got lost on the way to the grocery store, and to try to resolve conflicts peacefully with my roommates. I started college...
February, I turned seventeen..and I got a job as a hostess at Shogun.
March 2007 was full of ups and downs. Yari and I threw a surprise 18th birthday party for David. I also rear-ended a truck at 40 mph and totaled my car. Living without a car for two months helped me appreciate my mobility, but it also stressed me out to rely on other people so much. I also had to quit my job.
April was when I had a barrel fall from the ceiling onto my phone in a restaurant. I got my Blackberry pearl, which landed in the toilet a couple weeks later.
May, I finished my first semester of college. 4 A's, 2 B's. 18 hours. I spent 3 weeks with my family in Tennessee. When I arrived, my Saab 9.5 was in the garage.
June & July I took 9 hours (all A's) and spent a weekend at Orange Beach with Madison. I got a good laugh when my Stats prof recommended me to be a math major. This was when I decided to change majors from International Affairs to English. I went to a Braves game and to the Atlanta History Center. I also read all of the Harry Potter books for the first time.
August I spent two weeks with the family and then started school again. Only 12 hours..I needed the break. I moved into the Honors Building and I began my duties as President of the French Club. I made several new nerdy friends, and I became really close with my roommate, Becca.
September I went to Loca Luna a lot. = )
October I was sick the whole month, and had to deal with being treated badly by those who claim to be Christians. I dressed up as a witch for halloween, which was the first time I was "allowed" to celebrate the holiday...haha.
November I planned a French Cocktail party for over 300 people. It was a ton of work and I prepared a lot of the food myself, with the help of my dear friends. I visited Cleveland and went to Brasstown Bald for the first time with Becca. I spent Thanksgiving with my family in Tennessee.
December I surprised myself with a 4.0. & I celebrated...I spent three weeks with the family in Tennessee, went to North Carolina for over a week during Christmas, and visited Madison in Pigeon Forge.
There is so much more that's happened, but its can be summed up by saying its been a year of learning, a pretty tough year emotionally & spiritually, but its January and I've made it through. I'll be back in Kennesaw tomorrow.
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